第一次检视
何谓自私
练习（一）
练习（二）
练习（三）
练习（四）
检视——为公众的“大私”
进度检视
当你完成本部分的练习后，你将会学到：
为“大私”付出
自私于无形、自私于精神需求
“大私”于大众
第一次检视
这是第一次测试，请你在完成自私部分练习后再度来到此页完成检视。
1．当我付出时，我是为了：
□得到实质回报
□为了别人的福祉
□没有任何原因
□其他
2．见到一个老婆婆跌倒时，我会：
□立刻扶她一把，及时呼叫救护车，这个付出是因为别人的需要
□扶她一把，因为我希望得到别人的赞赏
□我不会帮助她，因为其他人也会帮助她
□其他
3．我会因为什么而付出？
□别人的需要
□我的理想是拯救苍生
□别人的赞许
□得到更多
□父母或老师的教导
□这是我的生存动力
□其他
何谓自私
根据人本教练模式，自私分为“大私”和“小私”两种。正如爱情一样，双方共同拥有幸福的感受和生活，这就是爱情的“大私”。比如革命先烈，为了使中国免受列强侵略，使民族得到拯救，献身革命。他们的“大私”是和平、平等这些远大的理想。
“小私”主要考虑自己，追求利益最大化，比较短视，只想着自己能得到什么现实利益。每做一件善事，便要大肆宣扬一番，为自己的前途大造声势，求取虚名。
练习（一）
请回想你过去的经历，写出哪些事是基于“小私”，哪些是基于“大私”。做这些事情时，你在想什么？
事件1：
事件2：
当你基于“小私”做事和基于“大私”做事时，你的想法有什么不同？
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当你想象自己所做的事情能为别人带来快乐时，你的感觉如何？
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当你基于“大私”而做事时，你认为别人在想什么？
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你甘于一生基于“小私”而做事吗？你希望过怎样的生活？
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请对上题的行为做一个简单的统计，看看有多少事是基于“小私”而做，有多少事是基于“大私”而做。请把数字用柱状图的形式记录下来。
当你基于“小私”做事时，有多少件事是快乐的？有多少件事是不快乐的？请把数字用柱状图的形式记录下来。
你有没有想过，你付出是为了什么？
这个问题对很多人来说是很难回答的。但若你仔细想想，就会发现日常生活中实际上已存在着许多“大私”行为。例如：生活中两性之间的流行语是“我爱你”。“我爱你”是一种付出，那么里面有没有自私的成份呢？“我爱你”的潜台词是“我爱你，是想你只爱我一个人”。此时是“小私”。如果你是为了双方共同拥有幸福的感受和生活，那就是爱情上的“大私”。只有双方都成为对方唯一的至爱，爱情才能长久。
你想知道你的付出是基于“小私”还是基于“大私”吗？
请检视自己本周内所做的事情，留意自己的言行，看看哪些付出是基于“小私”，哪些付出是基于“大私”。
练习（二）
第一周
你在本周内做了哪些基于“小私”的事情？从哪些言行上可以看到？
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你在本周内做了哪些基于“大私”的事？从哪些言行上可以看到？
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你做完这些事情后的感觉是：
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你可以从下表中选取和你心情相吻合的形容词，如果在下表中找不到合适的形容词，你可以在空白处填上最能反映你心情的词汇。
第一周小结
经过一周的反思，相信你已了解了自己平日做事的习惯。你清楚自己平日所做的事情，有多少是为了“小私”，有多少是为了“大私”。你也了解到了自己的感受。人生在世，你一定有自己的想法和目标，而达成目标的初心有两种：一种是以“小私”为出发点，为达到目标而不择手段；另一种是从“大私”的角度出发，以服务他人、社会和团队为人生目标。你的人生会因此变得不一样，带给别人和社会的感觉会不一样，个人境界也会不一样。
请你对过去一周做过的事情进行总结，哪些是基于“小私”而做的，哪些是基于“大私”而做的，以百分比计算，按照下图的形式，以柱状图将结果记录下来。例如：
你过去一周的总结：
你希望自己的人生只是基于“小私”而活吗？你觉得你的“小私”和“大私”如何才能取得平衡？请详细列出你的想法。
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你希望自己为别人和社会带来什么影响？
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你如何将想法付诸实行？请把你的计划写下来：
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练习（三）
在总结完过去的一周后，你已得到新的刺激。未来的一周，你想要什么新的体会？你如何在第二周取得不同的体验？
第二周
你在本周内做了哪些基于“小私”的事情？从哪些言行上可以看到？
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你在本周内做了哪些基于“大私”的事情？从哪些言行上可以看到？
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你做完这些事情后的感觉是：
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你可以从下表中选取和你心情相吻合的形容词，如果在下表中找不到合适的形容词，你可以在空白处填上最能反映你心情的词汇。
第二周总结
请你总结过去的一周，哪些事是基于“小私”而做，哪些事是基于“大私”而做，以百分比计算，并以柱状图的形式将结果记录下来。
你过去一周的总结：
你基于“小私”做事时的感觉怎样？请详细描述一下。
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你基于“大私”做事时的感觉怎样？请详细描述一下。
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你基于“小私”做事时，你认为别人的感觉怎样？
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你基于“大私”做事时，你认为别人的感觉怎样？
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请你闭上眼睛，回想你基于“大私”做事的感觉。谨记这份感觉，以后每逢想基于“小私”做事时，请你回想这份感觉。
为公众的“大私”
练习（四）
经过两周的练习，相信你已经可以区分“小私”和“大私”，并在日常生活中基于你的“大私”付出。
以下练习将会让你基于“大私”服务公众，让你的“大私”在公众服务中体现出来。
请你在本周内为公众服务。
你将会如何服务大众？
例如：我会在这几天帮助老人家，为老人家筹备一项户外活动。
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这几天，你会为哪些人付出？
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你可否周全地计划当天的行动计划呢？
例如：计划一下地点、时间、所需的物资、联络方式等。
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你预计自己这次的付出能有多少人受惠？__________人。
请你在完成本练习后进行以下检视。
检视——为公众的“大私”
你这次活动的体验是什么？
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你也可利用图画表达在这次活动中的感受。
请写出你在这次活动中最难忘的经历。
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被你帮助的人有什么反应？请详细描述一下。
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在这次活动中，你有什么收获？
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在这次活动中，你的付出是基于“大私”还是“小私”呢？
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你是否感召其他人一起去筹办这次活动？
□是
□否
如果答案是“是”，你是如何感召其他人的呢？
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你与其他人一起付出时，这些人是什么反应呢？
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你会继续筹办类似的活动吗？
□会
□不会
恭喜你，相信你已经能够真正基于“大私”去付出，在未来的日子里，希望你可以继续为公众付出。
进度检视
恭喜你，你已经完成了“自私”部分的练习，现在，请你检视以下有关“自私”的达成度情况（请选出符合你的情况的选项，并用圆圈圈出）。
1．基于“大私”付出。
2．自私于无形、自私于精神需求。
3．“大私”于公众。
注意！别忘了返回本阶段的“第一次检视”（第33页）部分，完成你的检视。