what's the chilliest ground in the premiership?

cold trafford!

how did the footbal pitch end up as ?

somebody took a corner!

why didn't the dog want to play football?

it was a boxer!

what did they call dracula when he won the league?

the champire!

which england player keeps up the fuel supply?

paul gas coin!

manager:i'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time?

young player:ok,i'll come back in a year's time!

manager:twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?

captain:well,it could have been worse.

manager:how?

captain:there could have been more teams in the league!